John/Gort's Life In Hell

Okay, been an age since I updated good and proper, so here we are again.

Since I've been back, my life has been so full I haven't had time for much beyond work, partying and what happens inbetween. (crashing and Firefly) Let's do it from the furthest I can remember back... ah yes, the exams last monday. Well, they weren't so bad, full of vague questions that require your hands to fall off in order to get all the marks. Foolishly enough, I assumed the exams on Tuesday would be in the same place and turned up to an empty room. Panic! I ran up the hill to the science site, dashed up the skyscraper known as the computer science department, to find that nobody there knew where the exams were either. I searched in vain, and ended up going home substantially more worried, frustrated and sweaty than I left. This weekend just past was pretty cool, too. Went to Cuba Cuba (nightclub in Newcastle) with Mike, his Kate, and my Kate. (endless confusion) Went to Weatherspoons, got a few pitchers and pints in - here's a free tip - do NOT go for the 60% proof rum and coke pitcher, it tastes HORRIBLE. Go for something else. Of course, if you don't mind taste, do the cheap vodka thing. Always good. (expensive or russian home made is gods gift to alcoholics though - I have NEVER been drunker than the two occasions on which I single handedly finished off full bottles of vodka. The first time I ended up crawling around my Russian friends house on the floor, and the second time I was the loudest creature on gods green earth - ask my friends from Bradford)

Anyway, so we got a bit tipsy, then went to Cuba Cuba. Had some good music on - I remember Chop Suey and This is the New Shit, that kinda style. Rock club, after all. Some nice outfits going, including the girl with the outfit made entirely of gaffer tape (not too much, mind, heh) and the girl with the bullet belt, that was cool. Some goth chick kept staring at me throughout the entire four hours or so we were there, that was odd, but hey, what are goths for after all? Two girls tried to flay me alive with their hair, also. There are worse ways to go. Had a few drunken chats with Kate and Mike. (separately) It's nice that those two are together, it's nice to see Kate smile again. Not that Mike isn't smiling too, natch. Anyway...

So, today I had my software engineering presentation to give to my crazy American lecturer,(he's new, they had to pull in a specialist from across the Atlantic to deal with me) and two hours of exams to sit (the two I missed from earlier, see?) so naturally I spent the preceding night partying at Jam Night - they had actual bands this time, one called Munkypunch that's very heavy on the brass. They sound great, something akin to the Coral, but probably one of the music geeks round here would be better suited to giving you a rundown. Needless to say, they're good, and I bought a CD.

Earlier cryptic post is talking about my new hair - I bleached it again, then used up some blue dye that Kate happened to have left over. It's now electric (or "sonic the hedgehog") blue, and is awesome. Everyone looks at me. It's great. Comments so far have ranged from, "It's funny because it's blue", to "Maximum mark of 35% for anyone with disgusting blue hair", to "..." from my new lecturer. He sort of stared and his mouth went up and down for a second before he could bring himself to give me the worksheet he was holding.

Anyway, I'm wiped out, so I'm gonna listen to music really loudly and do some more keyboard work later. I'm currently working on Mozart's Sonata K333. (the WIDOWMAKER)

So yeah, pics soon.

Current Mood: Frazzled.
Current Music: Cornflake Girl

Good hair...

Well, got back to Durham last night, unpacked my stuff, then everyone came over and got drunk on Merrydown. Everyone else is still asleep as I type this - for some reason if I get really drunk, I get up early the next day... that and I passed out around about ten o'clock, maybe half past. Well, it's good to be back, and see everyone again. (well, almost everyone)

And I now possess Mike's weirdass hat with the greek letters and "love" written across it.

My weapons finally arrived, in a huge seven foot long container. The bo staff is my height exactly, (like it's meant to be) the nunchaku aren't as hard to use and unpredictable as you'd think from watching Bruce Lee films, I could do some decent damage with them, and I'm trying to master the "switch hands over your shoulder" thing, I can do it right to left, the other way round could use some work though. Tonfas, hmm, they seem a little unwieldy to be honest - I'd thought they would be the most natural of the three weapons, but they seem to take more getting used to than any of them.

Kate was over the last couple of days, did a lot of keyboard playing, red dwarf watching, and so on. She's back to uni on Saturday, I'm back on Friday. I have some big nasty exams to welcome me back on the Monday and Tuesday though, so I don't know how available I'll be wise to be. Ah well.

Looking forward to getting back to uni in some ways, not looking forward in others. Good stuff is being able to see my friends without spending a tenner and two hours travelling to them, and the same with places to go out - I can just bike it for five minutes to the pub in Durham, not so here. Bad stuff is, naturally, the end of my four-week holiday, so I gotta start working again, specifically software engineering revision (which I hate) and my dissertation. (which I loathe)

Thankfully, my net connection at home is the same as that at uni, and my keyboard is nice and portable, so I won't be missing anything.

This week, I have been mostly learning: Pachelbel's Cannon

Well, the fitness regime continues, with the disheartening news that as of four days ago, I've put on three pounds. Ah well, could just be a blip, let's hope, heh. Anyway, despite this, I managed to add another mile per hour to my run, so it's up to a four mph walk on a five degree incline for three minutes, then an eight mile an hour run on the flat, then repeat, for half an hour. So it's basically six miles per hour for half an hour - three miles. That said, I'm only just capable of this, I'm wiping the sweat out of my eyes as I speak. Ah well, I'll get better if I keep doing it every day. Always have to have a cold shower afterwards though, cause I overheat pretty easily.

Been working my way through my keyboard books, which mostly contain bad songs. However, all I'm looking for at the moment is something I recognise, so I can be sure I'm playing it right. I know HOW to play the Hellsing theme, but I usually get tangled up in knots if I try. I can play a simplified version, but that's not what I'm after. My repertoire (thanks to my uber-stunted collection of sheet music) is limited to Sing by Travis, Everything I Do, Candle in the Wind, and various other rubbish. It's nice to be able to bash something out though. I'm gonna see if I can get some music from Kate (my girlfriend) that's of a respectable calibre. That rhonda in x minor piece by Mozart should do nicely.

Going to sword class today with Olly at the Royal Armouries. Apparently the first go is free, so I'm well up for it. Olly bought a two-handed sword the other day, it's very impressive and pretty heavy. In comparison my bokken weighs NOTHING. Apparently there's a lot more to using it than just swinging the sharp bit around, you also club with the hilt, block with the blade grasped in your fingers (none of this razor sharp scimitar malarkey here, these buggers cut with weight) and so forth. Should be pretty interesting.

Also, where the heck are my weapons? I know it was christmas, but it's been two weeks now and not a sausage. I know I gave 'em the right address, it's in my confirmation email. Bah. I'll wait more. Anyway, I'm off to cleanse my filthy human body.

Well, as part of my new years stuff, I've decided to start working out properly for a change. Just got back from half an hour of cross training and a bit of bag work. Since I currently suck, cross training is a walk on a five degree incline at three and a half miles an hour for three minutes, then a jog at seven miles an hour on the flat for three minutes, then repeat. But I should get better :) Bag work is always fun, but it's very hard work - I use a heavy 5ft tall bag, and that swings around a fair bit.

Got psychoanalysed by my dad today, one of those personality type quizzes, 88 two-choice questions. I came out very strongly ESTP, which means:

Sorry it's geocities, but it's only one pop-up.

It's pretty accurate, in my opinion.

Anyway, I was thinking about my life after uni a bit more today, and I must say that I think I'd quite like to be a police officer. I can handle crazy hours of work (heck, I was doing 4 AM starts at the royal mail) and I like wearing a uniform and suchlike. I think I'll put in an application, see what happens. I went to the police site and did some of their "deal with this situation" tests, and I got 75%, more or less. Apparently that means I'm suited to be a cop...

Anyway, it's an option. After all, I'd hate to work in business or stuff like that, I don't want to be 70 and dying in my bed thinking, "Well, in my life I made a lot of money. Go me."

***LOTR SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU SLUGS!***

Okay, so I saw the Return of the King a third time. That's FORTY FIVE MINUTES that I've had to sit through the ending, which consists entirely of hobbits staring at each other. However, the ride of the Rohirrim is still awesome. The Jack Nicholson orc rocks too, very cool. My favourite part is when the Mumaks show up, those things are great. But they still only count as one.

For the record, Gimli wins. So HAH.

Anyway, I've been listening to Rhapsody lately, some good stuff there. Christopher Lee is joining them soon, which conjurs up odd images in my mind.

Also, I finally got around to watching English Hellsing - and ye unbelievers who don't like the voices, well. Your impure souls will be banished into the pits of hell, naturally. I also suggest pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent god. But, if you act now, there's still time for a good old-fashioned suicide!

Oh, and we'll crush yer unholy body, and salt the earth with yer dust!

Current Music: Rhapsody - Rain of a thousand flames.

Before I got onto the subject of weirdass dreams, I also had a real thing to say too. I don't often spend money buying stuff for myself, I tend to just get stuff for friends, and occasionally splash out on a new computer or such. (that's like, every 3 years or so)

So it's a big deal when I actually buy things. So I was online the other day, and decided it was time to get a few more weapons. Bokken are all very well, but I know basically how to use one now, and I'd like to try a few new things.

So, first up, a pair of Tonfas, which are these things. They seem very straight-forward, you grasp the handle and it lends more weight to punches and blocks.


Then, a carved hardwood Bo staff, which is basically a quarterstaff, although the fighting styles for quarterstaff and bo staff are quite different.

And of course, the classic uncontrollable "what the hell is going on here" weapon, the nunchaku. I made sure to go for the "I haven't got a clue what I'm doing" training version, which are encased in rubber so it doesn't hurt too much when you whack yourself across the mouth with them.

And of course, a big case/bag thing to put them all in, so I don't look like a complete lunatic any more than I have to.

Okay, so I was in a taxi with Jimmy and Marcus, (two school friends you don't know) in Ireland for some reason. And just as we're getting near where we wanted to go, Marcus starts chatting with the old silver-haired guy who's our cabbie. And as time passes, he decides to make out as though we're terrorists. (I forget exactly how he got the point across, but the guy was utterly convinced) So the cabbie stops the taxi, so we all get out since we're pretty close anyway. The guy comes after us, so we do a runner. He catches up to me while yelling blue murder in some kind of plaza, and tries to grab me. I hurl him down some steps (not on purpose, the steps were just there) all the while thinking "oh crap, don't break anything while you roll down those...". Then I run across a road with cars going about 40, and cram into an already-occupied taxi. (it looked like it was full of Germans, but there was space enough for them to crush up)

So, long story short, I end up in a hotel. But I can't find any money to get a room with. I mean, if I pat my pockets I can feel money in them, but as soon as I put my hands in, there's nothing there. So I wander up and down. I have my cards, so I could get money out, but the cops (who I am by now convinced want to arrest me as a terrorist and put me away forever) could trace the transaction. I also have my mobile, so I could phone my terrorist accomplices, but they could trace that too.

So yeah, then there was some incoherent stuff. Stupid, neh?

So drunk, so full, cannot move.

I'll just sit here in the corner and watch Sexie.

Thank you, and good night.

Why is there nothing but crap and World War documentaries on? Everyone's working here, as well - for some reason people like to injure themselves more than usual on Christmas.

It's christmas, and we all know what that means.

Well, for me, for some reason, it means watching "War Walks" all day and remembering history GCSE.

Hm.

Whoa. Wireless networking. Neato and super-keen.

What was I gonna say? I've forgotten.

Oh yeah:

BUTTERTROLL PICS ENROUTE

That is all.

Well, I'm stuck without proper internet at the moment, cause Steve has my hub, and my brother has the only gateway computer and he's on it pretty much 24/7...

Hence a lot of random 7 AM posting and suchlike. Anyway, just finished watching the first two LOTR films again with Kate, (not cartoonykate) so we can go out and see the third one at the cinema.

Despite being without internet, I've been astonishingly busy ever since I got back. I moved back on Thursday, went out Quasaring with a bunch of guys from the MST boards on Friday, stayed over at Jimmy's (someone you don't know that I used to go to school with) for Saturday and Sunday, and had Kate over here on Monday and Tuesday. Insane. Today, I'll be going out to Olly's in Bradford to hang out, watch movies, do what I usually do. I'll have to slip my christmas shopping in before I do that, and I'm supposed to be showing up at noon.

I was gonna get the new Eddie Izzard tape for my parents ("Sexie") in blatant self-interest, and I'll probably get something else too, dunno what though. I'll see summat when I'm browsing through town.

Heh, Quasaring with you folks made me feel old, especially the conversation that ran thus:

Gort: "Hey, I'm thirsty, let's hit a bar and get a few drinks in!"
Everyone Else: "John, you're the only one old enough to drink."
Gort: "Oh..."

Yeah. Wanted to talk to Romuska more, but he was like a ghost... Ach well. I was very impressed that a bunch of people (Dirk, Jonny and his girlie) stuck around with us when it turned out we were gonna have to wait 45 minutes for our train. Very impressed. Hey, actually got a chance to talk to them then, too.

Then it was the long walk home from the station in the middle of the night...

For some reason, walking from one place to another in the dead of night always brings home to me the fact that I have no idea what I want to do once I finish my degree. Naturally, as a habitual student I want to continue at university for ever, but I fear that may not be an option... Oh well. Hopefully a thought will present itself at some point. I kinda want to stay in Durham whatever happens, cause there'll be plenty of my friends still there next year, and I can find work fairly easily in my experience, possibly as a postie while I get my German A-level at community college in preparation for a second degree. (so ridiculous - I speak German very well, but nobody thinks an AS-level counts for ANYTHING. Have no illusions, if you're studying for one at the moment. They mean nothing.)

Oh well. No ambition = no direction. God knows what I want to do, but I know this, I don't wanna do computer science shit for the rest of my life.

I guess I'm quite a guy.

Yeah, so my test went well. I jabbered nervously at my project supervisor, and forgot to do a diagram, so she had me scribble one out on the back of one of my sheets of notes. But now I've got a decent design down for my project.

Seems my mum's coming up at 1.30, so I should probably get back to stuffing huge amounts of trash into bags...

Oh, and Kate... your door wasn't locked in any SERIOUS meaning of the word...

Listening to the Doors song "the End" at this stage in your personal hell of work and tiredness is a rather zen experience.

Also, disturbing.

Either I'm so tired I'm delirious, or I actually have enough material here for my dissertation meeting at 9.30 AM.

Naturally, since I devoted the entirety of Tuesday to working on it, I got up at 4 PM. Then, in an unprecedented spurt of activity, I worked until about 8-ish, when I started to trail off and look at webcomics and so forth. Also got an astonishing run of good ideas for that D&D game of mine, odd how that happens. (for those who care, it's the one with Celyn in it) Anyhow, becoming tired with work by that point, I headed over to Kates at about half nine or so to party. After all, it's possibly the last time I'll see her or my other friends this term. Well, I'll see Kate and Kitcatt on Friday, but the others I won't, so.

Yeah, so I got back from partying at about 7 AM, and have been working for the past hour or so. What I've done actually looks half-decent, so I should be able to get through this good old meeting without any real trouble.

For those who don't know, I'm a final year computer science student, so that means I get to write a 19000 word dissertation, plus a system. My own dissertation is on "web-site evaluation metrics". Put bluntly, this means, "make a system that will show me where my website is crap, and once it's running, show me where it's crap, also". So it'll read in your website, look it over, and say, "yeah, you gotta change this, and that, so it's better, see?" It'll also be able to look at your server logs and say, "Hey look, nobody has ever seen this page, the link's probably broken, go and take a goosie." The only section I'm having trouble with at the moment is the "advanced deliverable", which has to fix problems on it's own. So basically it has to look at a website, find errors, and fix them AUTOMATICALLY. Bloody hell. Anyway, I've got about 6000 of my 19000 words done so far, so that's not bad considering that I've a good deal more time to go. Gonna have to work my arse off over Christmas, though. Fat bloody chance :)

Anyway, gonna be picked up by my mum tomorrow, so I'd better give the house a good once-over before she gets here, otherwise she'll have my hide for living in a tip. And believe me, it is a tip. Described as a "public health hazard" by many... but it has Soul Calibur 2 on the Xbox, so they come anyway.

So, those of you I'll be seeing on Friday, I'll see you Friday. Those I won't, I won't. So there. Anyway, back to scribing.

Whew, been a while since I updated this...

Anyway, night out yesterday, did an eight-bar bar crawl, getting in about a pint or so at each. Good night out, finally got Laura to come out of her shell, which was awesome. Kate wore a skirt for the first time ever, which was all good. Now that she drinks on nights out it's really cool. (win! :)) Ended up back at Kate's house watching Little Shop of Horrors at 3 AM or so...

It's now ten AM and I haven't yet been to sleep, but I don't really feel tired, so here I am. I got Kate to finish the dye job on my hair, which is now completely white, which looks pretty sweet. Hey, I should probably get pics and put them on the MST boards.

Been playing Star Wars Galaxies, which is a fairly funky game as MMORPGs go. Loads of stuff you can do, although the game has it's own little quirks. You recover from head wounds by going to a club and watching dancers and listening to music. Ho hum. As with all MMORPGs, it's good to get into the community ASAP, so me and Steve have joined up with the UK Rebel Movement, who seem to be a core of intelligent people ringed with retards. But they've got their own city, so that's pretty cool.

Me and Steve ran out of ideas for names, so we're using Soul Calibur 2 names, Kilik and Raphael, on the Chimaera server.

BONUS GORT EDIT: Am currently rediscovering the delights of oldschool music: The Doors, Pink Floyd, the Pogues, and Jethro Tull. It's all good.

Well, started my dissertation last night. I set aside the whole day to work, so it went something like this:

The Crack of Half-Past Two: Wake up at Kate's house. Wipe eyes, take verbal abuse from Laura. ("WHEN ARE YOU LEEEAVING?!")
Three PM: Resolve to REALLY start working. Just as soon as I complete House of the Dead 2. (Gort demands two-gun goodness!)
4.30 PM: Finish House of the Dead 2, finally! What a bloody hard game. Start walking back up the hill to my house.
5 PM: Arrive home. Shower. Read webcomics.
6 PM: Start working on dissertation. Study dissertation copy picked up from department.
7 PM: Niall and Mike come by expressly to observe my new hair. They mock openly. I go back to work.
8 PM: Hear the sounds of screaming and Soul Calibre 2 from downstairs. Most of my buddies are over. I sit down and open a can of Voldo freakazoid whoopass.
1 AM: Finish playing Soul Calibre 2. Come back upstairs, browse Something Awful forums for a bit with an ever-growing crowd of people behind me, as I confess to having strangled a thousand people on grouphug.us
1.30 AM: Everyone who doesn't live here (AKA Mike and Kate) leave. Wander upstairs to hear sounds of more ass being kicked. Steve is watching Gen X Cops. (a Jackie Chan movie, heh)
3.30 AM: Start working out the number of hours before I have to hand in my first bit of dissertation. Realise that since the web connection just went down and waking Kitcatt at 3.30 AM to get him to sort his computer out (it's our gateway) might not make me Mr Popular, I go to bed, setting uberalarm of death for 7 AM, vowing to get up and work for say, five hours in the morning.
5.30 AM: Fall asleep.

9.05 AM: Wake up. Shower leisurely. Get about an hour of work in before I go to lectures at 11 AM.

But thankfully, I managed to look reasonably intelligent in my interview with my project supervisor, so everythings okay for now.

I dunno why I wrote all that stuff down. But I'll be damned if I'm not gonna post it now, it's huge.

Current Mood: Chilled out.
Current Music: Hammerfall: Always Will Be